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Today, I’m on my soap box.  The topic….Abortion.  I know it’s a sensitive subject that everyone has a strong position on.  Well, here’s my two cents worth.

I believe abortion should be an option to women in certain situations only.  Meaning, abortion should only be used in cases of rape, incest, or when the mother and child are in danger of dying.  As a mother, I couldn’t imagine having an abortion, but as a rape victim I completely understand and empathize with those women.  I understand the fear surrounding being pregnant not by choice but by someone who gave you no choice.  I couldn’t imagine carrying a child of rape inside of me for nine months feeling he was still inside and a part of me, then giving birth and having that child around knowing what their father did to me.  I would see his face in them every day of my life and he would continually haunt me.  So, I completely and strongly agree with abortion in rape and incest situations.

The mother and child in danger is a tricky area for me.  If a woman and her child are at risk of dying, and it has been medically advised to abort, that is completely up to the woman.  It’s her choice what to do from there.  Some women spend their whole lives trying to get pregnant, and then to find out you both are in danger of dying…I know a few women who would risk death to have the baby they always dreamed of.  I can’t imagine not fighting for your life and your child’s life.  I do know, however, there are certain situations where the danger outweighs the possibility of a healthy delivery.  So, the woman and her family have a horrible and difficult decision to make and shouldn’t be judged for making the decision of life…whether it’s her life she chooses or her baby’s life.

Most importantly, Abortion should not be used as a form of birth control!  If a woman makes a decision to have sex with her partner, then she needs to be prepared for the consequences.  Abortion is not the answer for a condom break or unprotected sex mistake.   A woman should enter every sexual encounter knowing she could potentially become pregnant.  If you don’t want to get pregnant there are hundreds of contraceptives out there to prevent pregnancy.  All local Health Departments and most College campus medical facilities give out birth control to women for free, no questions asked.  So, there should be no excuses in preventing the pregnancy in the first place.

Abortion is a serious procedure that doesn’t end when a woman walks out of the office.  It stays with her the rest of her life.  The decision to abort should not be entered into lightly but should be discussed with a mental health professional, medical doctor, and a woman’s family.  She needs support regardless of her decision.  And, she will need that support the rest of her life.

Never listening to my husband again!  Having kids close together so they go through their phases close to each other is not a good idea at all, honey!  Good thing we are not having any more kids!  Oh my goodness, so my son is about to be three and my daughter is about to be five!  What I am about to be faced with is going to be insane!  A five year old who likes everything done her way and a three year old who wants to do everything by himself and have all the attention!  WOW!  Not ready for a five and three year old!

When my husband and I started talking about having our second child, I told him I was not ready for another little one.  Our daughter was still battling reflux and not sleeping through the night and the thought of having two little kids waking up constantly during the night just didn’t appeal to me!  But, he prevailed and now we have our wonderful son.  But, neither child sleeps through the night and both have gone through the hell known as reflux!  Whether it’s a nightmare or a wet diaper, they are up and down all night long!  I told you honey!!!!

Our daughter was horrid during her three’s!  I have tried to suppress those memories of her during that year!  Now, I’m faced with our son going through that phase!  Oh, man….maybe he’ll be better!  All I can do is try to be as understanding as possible, take deep long breathes, and spend plenty of time out of confined spaces!  Right now, he’s in the jumping phase!  Anything this boy can climb on, he is going to jump off of with amazing air time!  He has never had a fear of anything and that scares me!

Our soon-to-be 5 year old, is a whole other story!  I have no idea what I am going to do!  She already talks like a grown-up and tries to act like one too!  She already wants to put on make-up whenever she leaves the house.  Oh, she has a little boyfriend!  Yes, she is four and already she has a crush on a six year old!  When we tell her we are going over to his house, she has to plan and coordinate her outfits, she has to paint her nails to match her outfit, and she has to wear her hair down!  We are going to be in so much trouble when she is a teenager!

No matter when we had a second child, there would always be a phase they are going through.  Kids move from one bad phase onto the next phase that’s going to drive me crazy!  And, even though they drive me crazy sometimes and our house is always a mess and always chaotic, I love my children and my husband with all my heart and wouldn’t change a single moment with them.  My husband and our kids are without a doubt the best thing that has ever happened to me!

I have come to a realization that my daughter is just like me!  It’s absolutely terrifying the first time you look into your child’s eyes and see yourself!  She was having one of her “I’m right and I know I’m right and you’re wrong and I know you’re wrong” arguments with me, then I got a cold chill down my spine and realized I had this exact conversation with my parents when I was 16!  Wow, she’s advancing fast and I’m completely at a loss as to what to do!

You have to understand something; I was a good little girl growing up, until I made it to High School! For most people that know me, they find that hard to believe!  But, seriously, I was a little angel as a child.  Then hormones and the idea that I knew everything and there was no one, especially my parents that could tell me anything!  Well, minus the hormones, she is me!  She is ALWAYS right and there is nothing anyone can tell her to make her change her mind because once she has it in her head, it is written in stone!

It’s so frustrating to raise a strong-willed child, when you are a strong-willed adult!  It’s hard to tell her how to control herself, when there are MANY times; I have no idea how to control myself!  This is a project we have to work on together and I have no idea where to start!

So, now what do I do?  How do I help this little person try to understand and control what she’s feeling and saying, when I’m still trying to understand and control it myself?!  She is so strong and smart, and I do not want to do or say anything that will crush her wonderful outgoing personality.  So, what do we do because it’s not just her that needs the help?  We both have to figure out how two strong-willed girls can live peacefully in the same house!  Poor Daddy!

I have no idea what the government officials in Richmond are thinking, cutting the most important programs and giving that money to programs we can do without!  Right now in Virginia, the government has cut funding for programs such as mental health and education.

We received a letter from my daughter’s school the other day.  It basically was informing us that the school would be facing a $5 million deficit next school year.  They wanted parental input regarding which programs would be cut next year.  Now, that is sad!  Then I heard on the news that the government was cutting funding to mental health institutions.  Why are they picking on the people that need the help the most, the ones that cannot help themselves?

Education should be the very last program to face budget cuts.  They are already working with very little and now they have to find a miracle to keep our children educated.  Teachers are going without a pay raise again this year.  Most teachers in the current school system have never seen a pay increase, not even cost of living increase.  I understand the economy is difficult right now, but teachers are the single most important people on the planet.  They are responsible for educating the future leaders of this country.  Teachers have to work in cramped trailers and overcrowded classrooms with very little to no money to help them.  Our teachers have to ask parent’s for supplies for the classroom because there is no money for paper towels!  How sad for our children.  We may not fully understand the impact these cuts will have on our children and their education, but there will definitely be negative consequences.

Speaking of sad, cutting from mental health programs?  Come on!  What are the government officials doing in Richmond?!   They are going to cut funding to mental health facilities which house mentally ill patients who cannot take care of themselves and whose family can no longer help them.  What are they supposed to do?  The mental health program provides aid to parent’s who can no longer take care of their special needs children or the parent’s have passed away. The program provides vital care for those individuals who cannot help themselves, how can the government just take that funding away from them and still sleep at night?

I know the government is a complicated system, but I’m sorry, there is nothing complicated about keeping funding for the programs that are actually needed by individuals who cannot help themselves.  I just cannot understand what the officials in Richmond are thinking.  Do they not know someone who has benefited from one of these programs?  Have they really been out of the education system that long that they forget how important these programs are to the people they represent?  I believe all the elected officials need to take a week and actually go back to school!  They need to sit in a classroom and see how the teachers struggle to educate the students in an overcrowded classroom, with little or no money, and with old or out dated classroom material.  They also need to visit the mental health facilities that will be affected by the budget cuts and talk to parents and patients about the impact these programs have had and the potential devastating affects the cuts will have on their lives.  The officials need to be made aware of what they are cutting and the horrible impact the budget cuts will have on everyone!

Why does it have to be so difficult to get my four year old out of the house on time?  Seriously, she takes forever to get ready in the morning.  She takes her sweet little time doing the simplest tasks.  It drives me crazy!  It literally takes her 20 minutes to brush her teeth because she has to talk and sing to herself in the mirror and fluff her hair and pucker her lips and twist and turn in the mirror!  And God forbid she has to put her shoes on by herself!  That would be me speaking another language to her, she doesn’t understand.

I get it; she’s only four years old.  I get it, trust me!  But, if I don’t stay on top of her in the morning, she would miss the bus!  I have to get myself ready before we sit down for breakfast or it won’t happen!  I love her to death but she gets in her ‘moods’ in the morning.  This child is so not a morning person!  She loves to sleep in, relax in front of the TV before breakfast, and just take it easy in the morning.  If you start to push her to do anything before she’s had time to relax and wake up, you better be prepared for a fight!

Then there are those mornings when she wakes up in a bad mood and man you know it’s going to be a hell of a morning!  If she wakes up cranky, she makes the mornings hell, literally!  She won’t be able to brush her teeth, eat her breakfast, and put any article of clothing on without breaking down into a full blown meltdown!  She kicks and screams and yells, and whines, and throws herself on the floor.  She says the meanest things you have ever heard to anyone who gets in her way!  Those mornings, there is not enough coffee in the world to help me!

But, she is the most amazing little girl I have ever known.  The way she sees the world always seems to leave me breathless.  She sees the world in unique colors only she can see and she only sees the good in everyone.  There are moments when I wish I could be just like her and see the world through this innocent beautiful creature.